I sit amidst the plants of my rooftop garden, only a short distance from the coastal seashore of the ancient Islamic port of Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. I catch myself searching for resolution, searching for peace, searching for answers of how I have come to my current life circumstances. My body has struggled to produce enough vitamin D for the last 6 years and the doctor had directed me to sit in the open sun for at least thirty minutes a day with my face, legs, and arms fully exposed to help jumpstart my body, in addition to the Vitamin D drops and injections. The afternoon sun is shining on my face as I try to soak up the precious rays to help my body produce the necessary vitamins to help me try to sustain myself in the desert. I feel the sweat trickle down the back of my leg as the desert winds blow against my body providing a momentary relief from the humidity that the city is famous for. My momentary concerns are interrupted from a call from my driver Iggy who reports to me “Madame the water levels are low in the water tank, I will tell you when the water comes.” Another concern to add to my mind that is already overwhelmed of what tomorrow will bring. My mind is lost in its own internal sea, flooded by emotions, and stress related to both real and imagined concerns.
As my mind continues to tread in the fears of what tomorrow can bring, I remember that in less than two months I will be turning 43 years old. I begin to question where the years have flown and has the energy I have committed to different people and beliefs been worth where I now find myself. As I feel the first tear begin to edge its way down the side of my face, a chorus of voices echoes across the city, singing out in different tones with clarity, pureness, and absolution. Although the tones and pitches of the voices are different, the words are the same Arabic words that have been called out for more than 1200 years, five times daily, reminding not only me, but the generations before me that there is a Creator, who has carved out a path for all of us. As I sit in the light, and listen to the Islamic call for prayer float across the city, I think about all those before me who have heard that same call in a moment of darkness find a moment of peace in knowing that there are some aspects of life that we may not understand at the moment, but there are lessons to be learned along the journey the Creator has given us. Our mission is to try to make meaning from the experience of living and somehow pass on that lesson to those who come after us through our connections.